Carving Jack: Part III of III

When you have cut an entire piece and are ready to remove it, put your hand inside Jack and gently push the piece out from the inside. It may not be completely detached, so you may have to carefully cut it at the corners. Larger pieces – such as the mouth – will be harder to push out and may actually require both hands. When all your pieces are pulled out, get right down on Jack's level and check to make sure that none of the slimy pulp is hanging in view. It's tacky to look like he has goop in his eyes as if he just woke up or snot in his nose or as if he needs to brush his teeth. Clean him up on the inside – inner beauty is important.

Take a paper towel and wipe off the outside of Jack and his top. They will probably be wet and slimy from having guts all over them.

Take a small, unscented votive candle and place it in a candleholder in the bottom of the pumpkin. Put Jack's lid on him. Inserting a long match through Jack's mouth, light the candle. You now have a completely Jack-O-Lantern. Place him on your doorstep to greet trick-or-treaters. While Jack may be hurt inside because of your supposed friendship then betrayal, it won't show since he has a permanent smile on.

A week later you will begin to smell Jack and realize you need to get rid of him, since he has wilted and rotted. As you hold him over the trash can, you will look back fondly over the time you spent together and all the work you put into the big orange squash you are now about to send tot he city dump.

Carving Jack: Part II of III

Draw a circle around the stem of the pumpkin. If you make it a perfect circle, be sure to leave notches in it so that you know exactly how to position it when you re-place it. Be sure that your circle is large enough that you can fit your fist inside of it. Take the paring knife and puncture the surface of Jack, somewhere along the line you have drawn. The skin will be tough, as Jack is trying not to cry. Gently push the knife all the way through the skin. Wiggle it back and forth in an attempt to make the cut wider (not longer). Pull the paring knife out and insert the special pumpkin-carving knife. Finish cutting the lid. To take the top off of Jack, you may need to pull hard, as the inside of it will be entangled with the rest of the stringy sliminess not visible from the outside. Using your paring knife, slice all the pulp off the top, and create a somewhat smooth surface. Set the top aside.

Put your hand inside Jack and begin gutting him. You will pull out mainly handfuls of seeds at first, which should be deposited in the cereal bowl. As you pull out the slimy insides, just place them on the newspaper until you are done. Be prepared to get stuff under your fingernails. When you have pulled out all you can with your hands, insert the metal spoon into Jack and begin scraping the walls. While this won't completely detach all the strings, it will weaken them enough to be able to then pull the rest off with your hands. Continue scraping and pulling until you can pull out no more. Be as thorough as possible, as you do not want a sloppy appearance at the end of your carving quest.

When you are finished scraping the insides of Jack, take the seeds to the sink and rinse them in a colander. Try to get all of the pulp off of them, so that you just have pure seed left. Shake handfuls of seeds off at a time and absorb the rest of the water with paper towels. Spread the seeds out on a cookie sheet, making sure there is only one layer of seed. Salt them generously. Bake them at 350^o for 10 minutes. After the buzzer goes off, flip the seeds over (as well as possible – it's difficult) with a spatula and salt the other side. Place them back in the oven for 5-8 minutes. When they are done, they can be eaten right away, and are best when toasty right out of the oven.

Before you begin to cut a face in Jack, design his demeanor on a sheet of paper. Try several possibilities and pick your favorite. Draw the selected face on the clean side of the pumpkin. When you begin to cut it, you will use both knives. The paring knife will work better for small detail, whereas the special pumpkin knife will give you the security of not having to worry about slipping and messing up the face. When using the paring knife, be careful not to let this happen – it can slide through the skin easily and may slip past the point that you want it to stop.

Carving Jack: Part I of III

Some years ago, I was taking a writing class at a community college. One of my assignments was to write a process paper -- as "how-to" on anything I wanted. Not thinking of myself as very talented, or particularly specialized in anything, I was at a loss with this paper. The assignment was given in the fall, and it suddenly occurred to me one day that I could write (since the instructor said "about anything") a how-to piece on carving a Jack-o-lantern. Well, I did. I got an A on the paper, and it remains to this day one of my favorite pieces I have ever written. I share it here in three installments over the next week, in celebration of Halloween. It is called Carving Jack.

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Creating a jack-o-lantern is much more than simply sticking a knife into the side of an orange squash. When you stand at the entrance to a pumpkin patch, you have only just begun the process. First you must comb the entire patch searching for the "perfect" pumpkin. It must have just the right shade of orange, and needs to be big enough to display a face on one side of it. Try not to pick a pumpkin with dirt crusted all over it, as that will diminish from the appearance of the final product. Make sure there is at least one side of the pumpkin that is clear and free of blemishes, as they will also detract from the expression of Jack at the end.

Once you have selected and purchased your pumpkin, take it home with you and begin the bonding process. You must befriend your pumpkin and become one with it. Set it on the dinner table and let it eat with you. (The idea here is not to make it think you're going to destroy it in a few days.) Set it out on your doorstep to greet your visitors. It will soon feel like a part of your family.

When you have decided that you are ready to carve the squash, bring it into the house and set it on the kitchen table or counter. Spread sheets of newspaper out so that the pumpkin guts don't get all over the place. Place Jack on the newspaper. He may be getting a little nervous at this point, so you might want to position him on some comics to put his mind at ease.

Now you'll want to gather your materials. You will need a pencil for designing, and two knives. Use a paring knife to make initial cuts through the tough outer layer. A plastic-handled childproof pumpkin-carving knife should be used for the majority of the cutting. You will also need a large metal spoon for scraping the inside of Jack. A cereal bowl will also be needed to separate the seeds into.

Where to go?

I just have a quickie today. For those of you in the Cleveland area, I haven't yet gotten a pumpkin to carve! It's not like me to wait this long. Ben and I would like to go to a pumpkin patch this Saturday, if it's not too rainy, but we don't know where to go. Any suggestions nearby? Thanks!