Identity theft

Dear October 1st,

Have you checked your wallet in the last few days? Do you still have your driver's license and Social Security card (which you shouldn't carry with your license anyway)? Have you had any unauthorized charges on your credit cards in the last two days?

I ask because I'm concerned that your identity has been stolen. I think August 30th and August 31st teamed up together to steal it. See, they cam around here at the beginning of the week, and they sure acted and felt a lot like you. I really was worried about you. They were cold and rainy. I had to put socks and a sweater on in the morning, and I wanted to turn on the heater. At 8am, they were already showing off their 54 degree temperatures.

Something fishy is going on. Now don't get me wrong, it's not that I don't like you. I do. I really like you. But I like you. I don't like August 31st posing as you. It kinda freaks me out a little. I guess it's time, though. I love my boots and sweaters, so I guess I'm okay with it. As long as you don't impersonate December 31st as retribution. Fall is the best season, so don't shorten it, just because it started early. Please?

A big fan,
Janelle