Weaning Julie

Foreword: This post is primarily for posterity's sake. I wanted to write this out so I remember it later. It's really long, and not very interesting, so go ahead and skip it if you want.

Weaning technically starts when you first begin giving a baby solid foods, then when you begin to add in other liquids, such as water, juice, or whole milk. So I guess I've been weaning Julie for about five months now. My milk supply began to noticeably dwindle not long after Julie started eating three meals a day. I've been actively trying to cut back her nursing time over the last three to four weeks. The last time she was sick, Julie spent one whole day not eating anything; only nursing. By the end of that day, my breasts and nipples were so sensitive. For the next few days, I couldn't let her nurse for more than about three minutes at a time before I just couldn't take it anymore. I decided it was time. I had actually been ready to start weaning her about four months or so ago (she was only seven months then...don't judge me, please), but Ben asked me to keep going as long as I could, so I did. I just couldn't anymore, and I was apparently emotional enough when I told him so that he believed me.

Since Julie was only ten months old at the time, I bought some formula to switch her over to. I started by adding it to her morning cereal, to first get her system used to it before I introduced the flavor directly. At this point, she already drank water and whole milk (at her nine-month checkup, the doctor said we could start milk, just not use it to replace breast milk until a year). I had offered her apple juice, but she didn't like it. By time I gave her a bottle of formula to take, she was just not the least bit interested. I think the most I got her to drink at once was an ounce. So we decided to wean her straight to whole milk.

I started actively trying to pare down her nursings about 3-4 weeks ago. It actually was pretty easy to cut her down to three feedings a day: one in the morning, one at night, and one sometime during the day. Well, it all changed this week. This week accelerated the process.

Day One
Tuesday morning, I woke up completely dry. I had no milk. "Here we go," I thought. No turning back now. I braced myself for a really cranky day. Surprisingly, Julie was just a peach! She was cheery and snuggly all day long (cuddly, but not clingy). She went to bed very easily.

Day Two
I had refilled during the night. Several months back, Julie had been sick and nursing a lot more than usual, and I was worried about drying up, so I spoke with a lactation consultant who told me that it can take up to 48 hours for milk to replenish itself. Wednesday morning I was a little uncomfortable, but not painful. I nursed her that morning, and around 4:00 that afternoon. I didn't have enough to nurse at bedtime, plus I knew that she would go to bed without nursing, because she had the night before. Wednesday was actually a harder day that Tuesday. I think by Day Two she had realized what was going on. "Wait a second...," she thought. She wasn't very happy with me most of the day.

Day Three
I woke up dry again. At this point, I thought I might go every other day for a little while. That wouldn't be too bad. Julie was still a little cranky with me, but not like Day Two. Unfortunately, Benjamin woke up very sick that morning. He got a touch of the flu bug. He told me that the last time he'd felt that bad, he'd spent three days on his back in Kiev (on his mission). Needless to say, he called in sick to work; I had two babies to take care of now. Julie did fine in the morning, and went down pretty easily for a short morning nap and an average midday nap. When she tried to take a late afternoon nap, she needed help, and she fought it. She wanted to nurse. By bedtime, she knew she was being denied. She screamed and cried for 30 minutes, during which time I put her to sleep four or five times (I lost count), and held her in my arms the entire time. Well, almost. I tried laying her in her crib a few times, to no avail. I didn't want to bother Ben, since he was so sick (he was feeling better by then, but certainly not great). Finally, I needed him to take a turn, because my arms just couldn't do anymore. He spent 15 minutes with more of the same, then we gave up. I put her on to nurse for about two minutes, just for the comfort (there was nothing there). She fell asleep immediately, I held her for another few minutes then laid her bed at 9:00pm last night.

Day Four
Dry again. By now, Julie is definitely resisting her denial. At this point, however, there's not really much I can do about it. I'm not just denying her, I legitimately have nothing left. Naptimes were rough again today. Ben put her to sleep this morning fairly easily. She slept in the car on the way home from playgroup. Her late afternoon nap, however, was another story. It took me about an hour to get her to sleep, after which she slept for only 30 minutes. Benjamin (who was feeling much better today, and was already taking the day off work anyway), then took her, and spent at least another half hour trying to get her back to sleep, since she awoke prematurely. She slept for about 45 minutes that time, and woke up happy. By the time bedtime rolled around, I started again. It took 25 minutes before I decided to try the "put her in her crib and let her do it herself" method. Then I listened to her scream for another 25 minutes. Ben finally went in her room, and she was out in under 10 minutes.

(Side note: My mom weaned me "cold turkey." When I was 13 months old, her grandmother passed away, and when she went out of town for the funeral for a weekend, she left me with my dad. To this day, if the subject is brought up, they will still argue over who had the worse weekend. As I listened to Julie scream this afternoon while Ben was trying to put her back to sleep, I suddenly had the urge to call my dad and thank him for taking care of me that weekend. I actually talked to both my parents today. I think this was the first time since I became a mom that I have really felt sympathetic to them, and grateful for all that they did for me. Since that thought is really just formulating itself as I write, I didn't get to say it to them today. Thanks, Mom and Dad. I love you.)

Day Five
Tomorrow. I'm prepared that I may wake up, have refilled, and be painfully engorged. Should that happen, I have a head of green cabbage in the refrigerator. If not, it will be the third out of four days in a row that Ben will be home and able to help out with Julie's emotional side effects.

My baby's growing up. *sniffle*